Awkward Moment Forty: Yoga

I love yoga so much and I do it lots. It makes me less awkward because it's my time by myself. I don't know why, I just feel independent going to yoga by myself. Still, there are so many awkward scenarios that go on during yoga. Like farting. I have a rule and it is called "don't fart in public" but the thing is, yoga squishes me into very weird positions and sometimes it's hard to not let it go when your head is resting on your left knee and your right leg is resting on your head and your touching your left foot with your right hand and.. you get it right? I mean, I am not made of silly putty and sometimes it escapes. But since everyone in the yoga studio is pretty close together you can't even hope that it would go by unnoticed. You can only hope that they don't acknowledge it and then you go into denial and pretend that that didn't just happen. Also, it's weird sticking my bum in people's faces or when people stick their bums in my face. I think that's pretty self explanatory. And camel toe which comes from wearing form fitting yoga pants and doing bridge which is when you basically lift your crotch to the sky. It's really uncomfortable when your instructor occasionally comes to adjust you and this happens and it's like why. Why. Or when they chant and I focus really hard on not laughing. It's not even that funny anymore because I am so used to it but it's just like when someone yells at you and you can't help but laugh. Just knowing you shouldn't laugh makes it impossible not to. I feel bad to and I want to be like I am sorry, I know better! I do! It's just dead quiet and then it's like..................OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM....... It's something I have basically gotten used to but there are days when I feel like hysterically laughing. So yoga is great and it's like exercise that doesn't make me want to cry. But be prepared for the awkward, and invest in a thong or seamless panties because you know what's more embarassing then sticking your tush in someone's face? Pantylines while you are sticking it in someone's face. Awkward!!
-Flora

Awkward Moment Thirty Nine: Farting

Poooooofttttt! If you're me, then you're extremely immature and find farting hilarious, embarrassing and awkward. I know it is just a natural bodily function but it's so funny! And it's even funnier/awkward when it's in front of a group of people. Usually when this happens people pretend they did not hear it, but there is always that one really obnoxious person who think it's funny to point it out and laugh. That's always super nice of them.

Everybody has a few good farting stories to tell. I know I sure do. One of them did not happen to me, but it was a dance teacher's group that had gone on stage for acro competition. For those of you who know acro, it involves a lot of lifts and backbends, cartwheels, that kind of thing. So this one girl was the smallest girl in the class and she got lifted for every lift in the dance. The music was super dramatic and there was one part of the song that went completely silent right as they were lifting the girl... when this happened she suddenly she let out a very loud fart. EVERY one heard. The entire audience! She was mortified! I know I would never be able to live that one down.

But then there are just those moments when you're hanging out with friends and you're laughing super hard and just can't help but let one (or 2 or 3) go. It's unfortunate, but it happens to the best of us! It really isn't so bad if you're with friends, but if you aren't then it is just plain awkward. It makes me think of a funny saying that my grandma used to say. It doesn't really translate from Finnish properly, but it basically means "farts are the joy of the poor". In other words, well it's pretty self-explanatory, but she would say that whenever someone, including herself, farted! To be honest with you, I think that would just make it even more AWKWARD!

Awkward Moment Thirty Eight: Seeing people from school when you are working

Imagine you are working away, happy as a clam, or in my case, as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs (yes I searched that up), when you see not one but two people from your school. Yes, for the normal people of the world this would be an easy situation. You would say hello, maybe discuss some other business. But for us awkward folks, we are in our prime moment. First, you begin to come up with ideas to avoid this situation. When you finally realise they are not going anywhere and neither are you, you begin to come up with another plan. Of course my usual plan of attack (hiding, walking the other direction, avoiding eye contact) would not work here. So they other day, on our last day of training, I was packing bags. I was super nervous! I did not want to screw anything up. My hands were shaking, but luckily the guy I was packing bags for was super nice. Anyways, as I am bagging I see two kids from my school, who happen to be going out, come into my isle. Great! This kid also happens to be one of those annoying boys who tries to make you feel uncomfortable. As he comes up to the till I pretend I am extremely focused on bagging the bags. Just as I look up, he is staring at me. I smile and say hi, and he smiles back. This makes me even more nervous because I have to do an extra good packing job. So now my hands are shaking, my face is beet red (from heat and seeing someone), and I probably look really nervous. So after what seems like 40 hours, they leave and I say bye. AWKWARD!

Mia

Awkward Moment Thirty Seven: When your bra unclasps in public or school for no apparent reason.

This is another one of those awkward moments that happen just between you and yourself. All of the sudden you feel the hooks on your bra slowly start to undo. You think "do I have time to run to the bathroom?" Of course, by the time you are done thinking that, it's already undone. There goes that option. You think everyone is staring at you. Panic is rushes through you. It's got to be obvious. I mean, your bra is practically falling off! You look around sketchily, thinking about the best way to go about fixing this. You stealthy get up, act as if nothing is wrong although you probably look quite stressed out, and ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. Then all H. E. DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS breaks loose. You run to the bathroom, slam the stall door closed, and re hook those clasps. The feeling is amazing. Finally relief. Ahh, that situation was AWKWARD!

-Georgie

Awkward Moment Thirty Six:Talking to someone you dont like

We all love our friends. But sometimes our friends like things or people for reasons that we cannot understand. And that's absolutely fine! Just because I happen to think that girl in French is an irritating, bitchy suck up doesn't mean that she doesn't have a heart of gold. So if your friend is friends with someone you are not particularly fond of the best thing to do is be supportive and sensitive and, unless your friend's friend is a complete psycho, trust their judgement enough to know that there is probably something good about that person. But do you want to know what is unfortunate? When you don't know that your friend is friends with said biatch and you start babbling away about how much he or she annoys you and do they like her? And then they say "....Yeah, they are one of my best friends...." And you feel not only like a cow but also completely awkward! The first thing I think is damage control. What can I do to fix this? I can't be like "HA. Just kidding, I love them.." I could be like " Okay good. I was just testing you" or theres what I always do which is get really awkward and blush nervously and make indescernable sounds. The other day I was sitting with this girl I used to be friends with named Aretha and I am not friends with her anymore but she is still friends with my friend Rosaline. So, I try not to make it obvious that I don't like her but Rosaline knows I don't, I try to be subtle, what can I say. Anyways, so we went to a class in our freeblock to do work and we sat with lovely Aretha. I was sitting right across from my former friend and I couldn't handle the tension. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. So I randomly say "Hi Aretha..." She looks at me weirdly and says hi. I then felt like I should say something else, so I said "..Happy birthday.." knowing full well that her birthday was two weeks ago but not knowing what else to say. She tells me this and I was like oh and that was it. Awkward!

-Flora

Awkward Moment Thirty Five: Walking down the hallway and laughing to yourself

Could my life be just a teensy bit more awkward? I really don't think it's awkward enough! I hate those moments when you're walking or sitting by yourself and something is just so hilarious that you can't even control it so you start laughing maniacally and all of the sane and innocent bystanders think you are an absolute lunatic. Gosh, those poor people are all within the realm of crazy. There is no getting out! You have witnessed the awkward now you must experience it for yourself! Just kidding. You can keep your sanity. No one needs to be awkward, that's what we're here for.

Today, I was walking down the hallway, thinking dolefully about the awkward blog and how I would love to go post on it, when this strange thought popped into my head. I was thinking of "Alcohol Annonymous" meetings and how they all introduce themselves and explain their problems but in my head it was "Awkward Anonymous" and I was introducing myself saying "Hi, my name is Millie and I am an awkward kid." And in unison the room replies "Hello Millie." And for some reason it sent me into hysterics! It started out as a light giggle, but the more I thought about it the more I needed to laugh. I was biting the sides of my cheeks trying to hold it in, but I just couldn't do it. So I was full on grinning from ear to ear and shaking with silent laughter while strolling- no not strolling, practically running-down the hallway to get to my class. I wasn't even close to being late but I figured the sooner I got to my class where my friends would be sitting, the sooner I could resume my status as a normal person who is just casually chuckling amongst friends. I turn the corner, take a flying leap into the class only to see two empty chairs where my friends should have been. I was so prepared to start rolling around on the floor laughing, when they weren't even there! Bloody hell! I just need to get this laugh out, and I need to get it out NOW! People are starting to stare. AWKWARD!

-Millie

Awkward Moment Thirty Four: Staff Rooms

How awkward are these! Most people sit around and chat with people they know. But for new people, who know nobody, it can get pretty awkward. I sit there avoiding eye contact with everybody, pretending to be concentrating very hard on reading a very "interesting" newspaper.  I don't really care what the stocks are doing but everyone in the staff room is thinking I do.
On Wednesday, during break, I was casually sitting in the room minding my own business, when I hear a boy in my grades voice. Awesome! More ways for me to be awkward! Instead of saying hi like a normal person, I pretend I am reading the newspaper. He goes and sits on the other side of the room, and I am pretty sure he saw me. Its not like I can look over and stare at him. That would be creepy. So I just ignore it. Now the only thing I can think of is I look like a total cow! It it not like I don't want to say hi, its just I want to save myself the awkwardness. We all know how I am with seeing people out of school...... Also remember when I told you guys about the girl I saw in the grocery store and how I was avoiding her, and then it was awkward? Well that's where I work now. I can't wait until I see her during break...... AWKWARD!!!

-Mia

Awkward Moment Thirty Three: School Games

So, this shouldn’t be awkward. Well for most people it isn’t, but for the four of us, school games and events are super awkward. Wednesday was not a good day for us. The whole Kit situation happened just before our schools dodge ball tournament. After going on our 10 km walk, we decided to stay and watch the dodge ball tournament. We knew a couple of people on our schools team, so we thought it would be fun to watch. Boy were we wrong! Our schools team had about 25 of their friends there to cheer them on. They are all super outgoing, loud, and close to each other. When the four of us walked in, we stood awkwardly in front of the bleachers trying to decide where to sit. Finally, we chose seats about halfway up the bleachers; not too close to the 25 intimidating people. Before the game started, our team decided it would be fun to do the wave. It’s a normal thing to do at a game. I don’t know how Millie, Flora, or Mia felt, but I felt sooooo awkward. I sat there and pretended I didn’t know what was going on, and that I was in the middle of a deep conversation with Millie! I heard a couple of them shout “You have no school spirit” or something along those lines. And once again, I pretended I didn’t know what was going on. Why did I not join in? That my friend is a very good question. I have not stopped asking myself that since the incident. Now I am traumatized, and everyone thinks we’re losers. AWKWARD!

-Georgie

Awkward Moment Thirty two: Crushes

Crushes. It's so ridiculous. Sure, in some ways they are fun. They bring about warm and fuzzy feelings and cute little fantasies straight out of the Notebook ( I love that movie, so cute, Nicholas Sparks is a genius ). I don't normally get crushes I am happy to say. I like boys in general but it's usually just oh, you are really cute and then ten minutes later I forget again. Every now and then though it happens. What can you do? It happens to all of us! And as cute as crushes are, it can make for some very awkward moments. You know the random blushing and butterflies? The inability to look at them in the eye. You feel like they know but obviously they don't unless they can suddenly read minds. It's just so awkward! And they have no idea! It's even worse because it's an awkward moment you are having all by yourself! Here is an example. The last time I had a crush it was this guy who was a couple years older than me. He was so different than me. He didn't look that badass or "gangster" or anything. He looked like he tried to be though, I am not going to lie. He was well dressed and cute in a scruffy kind of way. He wasn't shaven which is kind of cute in my opinion. I am not saying I 'd like a yeti but a little stubble is kind of hot. He smoked weed a lot though and was a party guy and that is really not my scene. He seemed to be a nice guy though but basically he is pretty much the definition of the kind of guy I shouldn't of been interested in. I was fifteen and as naive as can be. I was not a party girl and it was just so awkward. We were in a class together and my friend Rosaline knew I had a crush on him so she would be like "oh Bob come sit with Flora!" even though Millie sat with me. Then we were in a group thing and she was like "I am so glad we have Flora and Bob in our group.Flora and Bob."  And then Millie asked for her chair back and Bob was like sure and then Rosaline said "You homewrecker." Another time she turned to me, smelled me and said "mmm you smell like cotton candy. Bob she smells like cotton candy!" It really was awkward. There were other things too, like turning into a mime whenever he was around and blushing. I said dumb things too, like I told him puffins freak me out. Puffins.Freak.Me out. Who says that? You know of all the things to say that just seemed like the way to go. Awkward!
-Flora

Awkward Moment Thirty One: Spacing out when someone's talking to you.

"Hello Millie." Pause. "Hi?" Pause. "So what's going on?" Pause. "Millie?"
What? You were talking to me? Oh, I thought you were talking to the other Millie in the room. Oh, the room's empty? What do you know. Well I know that this is so ridiculously awkward. It is not an enjoyable experience when someone is trying to talk to you and you're completely off in another world. It is awkward enough for the talker (causing them to look and feel like they are talking to themselves), let alone for the person who is spacing out (perhaps creating an unwanted impression of awkwardness and rudeness). Neither is appreciated.

Today Flora, Georgie, Mia and I all took part in a 10 km walk to raise money for the kids in Uganda. Afterwards, we sat, ate pizza, and chatted it up in the cooking classroom. We were completely wiped out from all the walking and had all simultaneously spaced out. Kit conveniently chose this moment to come over and say hello. We awkwardly say "hi" and continue to shovel pizza into our mouths at light speed and stare at the walls. Because, you know, it's not like the pizza will stay on our plates. It might just magically disappear. So of course it is completely necessary to practically inhale it. And it's always fun to just make an awkward situation even more awkward because I now have tomato sauce smeared all over my face and bits of chewed up pepperoni stuck in my teeth. I should not be allowed to eat in public. Anyways, I am think that chances are we don't look like the most inviting bunch of kids because he then says "I don't want to break up your little posse". He stands there for another few minutes as we stare blankly off into space, and I'm sure he has probably begun to feel awkward by this point. Eventually, he casually saunters off. I laugh to myself awkwardly while everyone else slowly comes out of their little reverie. "Guys, that was super awkward." Once everyone is aware of just how awkward that awkward little situation was, we begin to plan out a course of action. Pfft, who are we kidding, our course of action is more like sit here and discuss it until our mouths are dry and our brains are fried and then pretend like it never happened. But this time Flora steps in and demands to repair the damage. She begins to panic, whereas Mia, Georgie and I just nervously look around, at a complete loss for words.. and actions. Do we apologize? What do we do? Not only do we seem awkward, but also just flat out rude. Do we explain to him "Hey, so we're just socially awkward, sorry about that." Uh oh, he's walking back over to our table! And he's brought his best friends, Jones and Millard! Even better. I happen to have a slight crush on Millard, and start looking around the room frantically, hoping to not catch his eye. I am quite convinced that he knows that I like him, except how the heck would he? They say hello and Flora bravely blurts out "We're sorry about earlier when we all ignored you" And I chip in with "yeah, sorry, that was rude of us!" He laughs and says "Yeah, I felt like a bit of an idiot." And Mia and Georgie explain that we were just spacing out, inconveniently all at the same time, cause apparently that's just how we like to do things. And I sit there and smile, feeling like I am either smiling too big, not big enough, or maybe even both at the same time. Even though I'm probably not smiling at all. It's starting to feel a bit more like a grimace. And Millard is just chilling there with his cute face and all I can think is: AWKWARD!!!
-Millie

Awkward Moment Thirty: Umbrella's

Maybe it is just me but I think umbrella's extremely awkward. I know I have already done a blog post of umbrellas in the wind but I decided a whole post needs to be dedicated to umbrella's. Umbrella's themselves are not particularly awkward but they do cause a heak of a lot of awkward moments.
1. They like to flip inside out (which I have already discussed)
2. They have problems opening
3. They have problems closing
4. They sometimes do no stay closed
5. When they are wet they could cause awkward wet marks on your pants, particularly in the crotch/ butt area.
6. If they are broken you could poke someones eye out which would be extremely awkward.

Well a couple weeks ago I was walking to the bus and it was pouring rain. My old, nice umbrella that I loved, broke! Guess where? In the wind storm from my last umbrella post!! So I was using this umbrella that is rusting and broken. I have my bus ticket in my hand and my binder and 4 textbooks in my arms. I usually put 2 textbooks in my binder so they are not falling but I didn't today because I thought I could handle it. Apparently not! As I get to the bus stop I see the bus coming. I waited until the bus was about 1 minute away and then tried to close my umbrella. Key word tried! I am struggling to close my umbrella, books falling, when I decide to ask the guy standing at the bus stop. He is about 3 years younger than me. I quietly say excuse me. Too bad he has his music blasting in his ears so it looks like I am talking to myself. The bus finally comes and I am still standing there hunched over like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, struggling to hold my books, while getting soaking wet. I finally get it closed when it pops back open. I try a couple more times, while the bus driver is waiting for me, looking annoyed. I finally close it and go onto the bus. By this time my hands are shaking and I have issues putting my bus pass into the holder. The umbrella is getting me soaking wet and books and pretty much on the ground. The bus driver drives and if you know me I cannot for the life of me walk on buses. So I am falling all over the place making a complete fool out of myself. Georgie is just sitting there laughing. So AWKWARD!

-Mia

Awkward Moment Twenty Nine: Seeing old friends.

Any normal person can act normal around an old friend that they haven’t talked to in a while. Me, I’m not normal. I suffer from social awkwardism. Symptoms include: flushing of the face, loss of words, embarrassment, paranoia, and last but not least, awkwardness. Let me tell you, it’s not a pleasant thing.

Anyways, I had an awkward experience at the bus the other day. I was standing at the bus stop waiting patiently as I always do every Monday. There were a bunch of kids from my school standing around me, everyone silent. It’s really awful because technically, I should have my drivers licence. But instead, I stand at the bus stop every Monday, and every Monday I watch kids from my classes stare at me, as they drive themselves home. So I’m waiting, and I see two girls walking towards the bus stop, one whom I used to be really close with and the other whom makes me very uncomfortable. This friend used to drive me to school every day for four years! And there I was standing at the bus stop. It was quite obvious that they were staring at me, but they were far enough away that I could pretend I didn’t see them. I already feel awkward at bus stops, so I know I must have looked so sketchy! I waited until they were just across the street from me until I finally looked. Yup. They were staring all right. Then my old friend started yelling at me from across the street. She’s yelling, cars are whipping past, and it’s loud. I had no idea what she was saying. Then I figured it out. She was asking why I was bussing. So I’m trying to act normal while trying to yell back ,“ I have no ride home on Mondays!” No one at the bus stop knew who I was talking too, and my friend couldn’t hear me. Awesome. I tried to yell louder but it wasn’t working. So she takes out her phone and signals to me that she would text me. Then, while trying to balance all my books, I had to rummage through my purse to find my phone-I might add that I hate me phone. It’s so ugly. The whole situation was just very awkward. I know it’s really not a big deal, but because of my social awkwardism, everything is a big deal. AWKWARD!

-Georgie