Awkward Moment Twenty Seven: When your parents embarrass you

You’ve gotta love that awful scenario of being out somewhere in public and having your parents talking their mouths off to total strangers about who the heck knows what, oblivious to the beautifully bright shade of red that your face is turning. That is just so much fun. I’d rather cliff dive onto cement. How about the time I was at the grocery store and my dad decides to really actively participate in the selection of my feminine products. Dad, this is not the same as downloading computer software. Come on, let’s just stick to what we know. Clearly you are not receiving the telepathic messages I am frantically sending you. Oh, sure, go ahead! Excellent idea, ask the really hot guy stocking shelves where the pads are! No dad, not pads, tampons! Do I look impressed?

“Do you want wings or no wings?!”

Why are you yelling! Inside voice dad!! Let’s just pretend that never happened.

Or you know what’s even better? When it’s not a complete stranger. Let’s just put the icing on the cake. Nope, it’s a teacher!

In August my mum and I were in Winner’s shopping for a summer dress for me. I had already put the dress I liked on hold and we were just picking it up so this should not have been such an ordeal. But it always is. Damn you Murphy’s Law! Oh how lovely. Look who it is. It’s two teachers from my school and their son. Now as Mia mentioned earlier, I quite frequently forget that teacher’s have lives outside of school. They aren’t supposed to just show up at shopping malls and grocery stores. It’s just not allowed. Who are we kidding, of course it’s allowed. And of course my mum has to hold up my (absolutely adorable, might I add) jean dress and ask “Is this appropriate for school?” I guess this was just her idea of a joke. Just hilarious, mum! Everyone’s just about to split a gut laughing! Okay. So what? It’s not that embarrassing. My face begs to differ. I can feel the colour inching up from my neck and into my face. Why? Why does this happen to me? I hate it when my face goes fuchsia. Because then all I can think about is how red my face is and it doesn’t stop, it just gets worse and worse. And I am baking alive in whatever I’m wearing and really just need to get outside into some fresh air. But instead I stand there awkwardly smiling and nodding pretending to follow along with the conversation even though I stopped paying attention a good 20 minutes ago. AWKWARD!!!
-Millie

Awkward Moment Twenty Six: Touching a persons boobs on accident

This is awkward. You are awkwardly trying to give someone a hug, with stuff in your hands, and you accidentally touch their tata's on the way. Their reaction can be several things: 1. Laugh awkwardly 2. Actually laugh with you (depending how close you are with them) 3. Look at you like your a creep. This situation is even more awkward when its a teacher. Yes that is right I touched my teachers boobs. I happen to be pretty close with this teacher so I went into her class to tell her I got a job. I put some of her hand cream on, because that is what I always do, and she is shouting and screaming excitedly. She goes and hugs Georgie and then comes to give me a hug. I am holding my binder,which is slipping out of my hands and putting hand cream on, when she comes to embrace me. Me, trying to hug her back, accidentally touch her boobs. We both noticed, but luckily she thought it was funny. But still SOOOO AWKWARD!

-Mia

Awkward Moment Fifteen: First Dates

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here is an especially awkward blog for you. The famous and not-so-fabulous first date. Everyone goes through this at some point. When someone asks you out there are generally 3 (always awkward!) responses and feelings. You either:

a) Really like the guy. This makes it awkward because you have to try your hardest to impress them and act as normal as possible so you don't scare them off and so you can hopefully score a second date. 

b) Really hate the guy. Really, you're only saying yes because you feel bad. Ahh, the sympathy date. Or..

c) Neither like or hate him and say yes because you want to give him a chance and you like the idea of him. And you think that maybe you can grow to like him. Also, you see no reason to not like him. This can definitely be awkward!

My last dating experience was the latter. I was quite convinced that if I just gave him a chance, then he must be right for me! I loved that he liked me, and was very flattered. But you can't make yourself like someone. So off we went on our date to the movies. The awkwardness starts in the line-up to pay for our tickets. He offers to pay, and I politely reply "Are you sure? " And he looks so uncertain that I end up paying. Then we get into the theatre. We look around for seats when I spot a teacher from school and her boyfriend. Just my luck. I avoid eye contact and march straight to the top of the theatre, as far away from my teacher as possible. We sit there munching on some popcorn and it's all okay until I notice his arm casually on the arm rest lying with his hand facing palm up. Hmm. It's almost as if he wants to hold my hand. I glance at it, ignore it, and continue to watch the movie. Of course I would pick a sappy romantic comedy. Which always means awkward sex scenes, just to add to the fun. Once the movie is over, we walk out into the brightly lit entrance. Here I notice my teacher and her boyfriend, once again. They're walking right in front of us and I get that awkward feeling like I am stalking them. I don't want to say hi because that would be the logical thing to do and me, being awkward, would never do that. Uh oh, now we're at the door, and she's holding it open for us, and I am looking everywhere but at her, and I am oh-so-aware of the bright lights shining on us like a spotlight, and my date beside me, and my teacher in front of me, and.. PHEW finally we're outside. I gasp for fresh air and try to release the tension that is building in my shoulders from all that awkward. We begin the walk to his car. Once again, he attempts to hold my hand by reaching out his hand towards me and saying "come on, my car's this way". Once again, I look at his desperately outstretched hand and ignore it. Once we're safely in his car and driving home, I look through the songs on his Ipod. I am an idiot. I choose Taylor Swift "Our Song", and while it's blasting I casually comment "hey, this song's rather appropriate!" He smiles, and then says "You should learn how to drive with one hand." 

"Why?"

"So you can have one hand free for the music.. and the dials.. and so I can hold your hand." He reaches for my hand and this time there is no avoiding it. We sit there in awkward silence. The car ride takes years. Finally, FINALLY, I am home. He walks me to the door, and not knowing how to say goodbye, I give him a quick hug. What a date. AWKWARD!!!!
-Millie

Awkward Moment Fourteen: Seeing Teachers in Public

This is extremely awkward. When you see a teacher in public you almost forget that teachers are human beings that actually have a life. I am under the impression that teachers only work. That is the only thing they do. They go to school, teach, and mark homework. They are not allowed to do anything else. So whenever I see a teacher out of school I am shocked out of my mind! And I am excessively awkward. More awkward then seeing an acquaintance from school.
This weekend I was at the mall with my mom and grandmother. We went to a town that's about one hour from my real town so I knew I would not see anyone I know. I was feeling rather thirsty so we went to Starbucks to quench my thirst. The line up was remarkably long. As we reached the top I was looking the display cabinet and I turn around to see a teacher from my school, who I had in grade 8, standing in the line up. I quickly turn around, not knowing what to do with myself. My mom asks me if I know that man because he is smiling at her. I couldn't exactly turn around now because I wanted to be stealth. I walk over to get my drink, avoiding eye contact. I felt really bad though because I knew he saw me look. So I glace up and he is staring at me so I wave. Not a normal wave though. An awkward one. A Flora Wave. If you knew Flora then you would know exactly what I was talking about! Anyways the situation was completely AWKWARD!

-Mia