Awkward Moment Forty One: Attractive Waiters

So, I went to The Keg for dinner with my parents and sister the other night. I was not very happy about it because it’s a nice place, and we had just gotten back from a trip. I hadn’t showered that morning, I showered the night before, but my hair reeked like chlorine! I’m not kidding, I think I showered 5 times scrubbing my head with baking powder before it went away. Anyways I didn’t look the nicest, wearing tennis sneakers, jean capris and a cardigan while everyone else was in heels and fancy dresses. So we sit down, got comfortable when all the sudden the waiter comes. Whoa. He was cute. Not to mention probably in his mid-late 20’s. I tried to act normally, believe me I really did try. But, his personality and amazing waiter skills were not helping the situation. He was really good; super friendly and funny. He knelt down right beside you when you ordered, and gave his opinion. AND HE KEPT SMILING AT ME! Like, more than normal…maybe it was in my head, but I’m pretty sure he kept smirking at me. Then he left our table and my mum says, “He is CUTE! You should get a job here, then you would have boyfriends!” I was already feeling awkward to begin with, but then every time he came to our table I felt like I couldn’t even look at him because …. I don’t know why, I was feeling uncomfortable. When I finally did look up, he flashed that smile! Ugggh. SO AWKWARD! It wasn't even an awkward moment I could laugh about after either, it was an inner awkward moment! Those are the worst! AWKWARD!

-Georgie 

Awkward Moment Forty: Yoga

I love yoga so much and I do it lots. It makes me less awkward because it's my time by myself. I don't know why, I just feel independent going to yoga by myself. Still, there are so many awkward scenarios that go on during yoga. Like farting. I have a rule and it is called "don't fart in public" but the thing is, yoga squishes me into very weird positions and sometimes it's hard to not let it go when your head is resting on your left knee and your right leg is resting on your head and your touching your left foot with your right hand and.. you get it right? I mean, I am not made of silly putty and sometimes it escapes. But since everyone in the yoga studio is pretty close together you can't even hope that it would go by unnoticed. You can only hope that they don't acknowledge it and then you go into denial and pretend that that didn't just happen. Also, it's weird sticking my bum in people's faces or when people stick their bums in my face. I think that's pretty self explanatory. And camel toe which comes from wearing form fitting yoga pants and doing bridge which is when you basically lift your crotch to the sky. It's really uncomfortable when your instructor occasionally comes to adjust you and this happens and it's like why. Why. Or when they chant and I focus really hard on not laughing. It's not even that funny anymore because I am so used to it but it's just like when someone yells at you and you can't help but laugh. Just knowing you shouldn't laugh makes it impossible not to. I feel bad to and I want to be like I am sorry, I know better! I do! It's just dead quiet and then it's like..................OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM....... It's something I have basically gotten used to but there are days when I feel like hysterically laughing. So yoga is great and it's like exercise that doesn't make me want to cry. But be prepared for the awkward, and invest in a thong or seamless panties because you know what's more embarassing then sticking your tush in someone's face? Pantylines while you are sticking it in someone's face. Awkward!!
-Flora

Awkward Moment Thirty Nine: Farting

Poooooofttttt! If you're me, then you're extremely immature and find farting hilarious, embarrassing and awkward. I know it is just a natural bodily function but it's so funny! And it's even funnier/awkward when it's in front of a group of people. Usually when this happens people pretend they did not hear it, but there is always that one really obnoxious person who think it's funny to point it out and laugh. That's always super nice of them.

Everybody has a few good farting stories to tell. I know I sure do. One of them did not happen to me, but it was a dance teacher's group that had gone on stage for acro competition. For those of you who know acro, it involves a lot of lifts and backbends, cartwheels, that kind of thing. So this one girl was the smallest girl in the class and she got lifted for every lift in the dance. The music was super dramatic and there was one part of the song that went completely silent right as they were lifting the girl... when this happened she suddenly she let out a very loud fart. EVERY one heard. The entire audience! She was mortified! I know I would never be able to live that one down.

But then there are just those moments when you're hanging out with friends and you're laughing super hard and just can't help but let one (or 2 or 3) go. It's unfortunate, but it happens to the best of us! It really isn't so bad if you're with friends, but if you aren't then it is just plain awkward. It makes me think of a funny saying that my grandma used to say. It doesn't really translate from Finnish properly, but it basically means "farts are the joy of the poor". In other words, well it's pretty self-explanatory, but she would say that whenever someone, including herself, farted! To be honest with you, I think that would just make it even more AWKWARD!

Awkward Moment Thirty Eight: Seeing people from school when you are working

Imagine you are working away, happy as a clam, or in my case, as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs (yes I searched that up), when you see not one but two people from your school. Yes, for the normal people of the world this would be an easy situation. You would say hello, maybe discuss some other business. But for us awkward folks, we are in our prime moment. First, you begin to come up with ideas to avoid this situation. When you finally realise they are not going anywhere and neither are you, you begin to come up with another plan. Of course my usual plan of attack (hiding, walking the other direction, avoiding eye contact) would not work here. So they other day, on our last day of training, I was packing bags. I was super nervous! I did not want to screw anything up. My hands were shaking, but luckily the guy I was packing bags for was super nice. Anyways, as I am bagging I see two kids from my school, who happen to be going out, come into my isle. Great! This kid also happens to be one of those annoying boys who tries to make you feel uncomfortable. As he comes up to the till I pretend I am extremely focused on bagging the bags. Just as I look up, he is staring at me. I smile and say hi, and he smiles back. This makes me even more nervous because I have to do an extra good packing job. So now my hands are shaking, my face is beet red (from heat and seeing someone), and I probably look really nervous. So after what seems like 40 hours, they leave and I say bye. AWKWARD!

Mia

Awkward Moment Thirty Seven: When your bra unclasps in public or school for no apparent reason.

This is another one of those awkward moments that happen just between you and yourself. All of the sudden you feel the hooks on your bra slowly start to undo. You think "do I have time to run to the bathroom?" Of course, by the time you are done thinking that, it's already undone. There goes that option. You think everyone is staring at you. Panic is rushes through you. It's got to be obvious. I mean, your bra is practically falling off! You look around sketchily, thinking about the best way to go about fixing this. You stealthy get up, act as if nothing is wrong although you probably look quite stressed out, and ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. Then all H. E. DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS breaks loose. You run to the bathroom, slam the stall door closed, and re hook those clasps. The feeling is amazing. Finally relief. Ahh, that situation was AWKWARD!

-Georgie

Awkward Moment Thirty Six:Talking to someone you dont like

We all love our friends. But sometimes our friends like things or people for reasons that we cannot understand. And that's absolutely fine! Just because I happen to think that girl in French is an irritating, bitchy suck up doesn't mean that she doesn't have a heart of gold. So if your friend is friends with someone you are not particularly fond of the best thing to do is be supportive and sensitive and, unless your friend's friend is a complete psycho, trust their judgement enough to know that there is probably something good about that person. But do you want to know what is unfortunate? When you don't know that your friend is friends with said biatch and you start babbling away about how much he or she annoys you and do they like her? And then they say "....Yeah, they are one of my best friends...." And you feel not only like a cow but also completely awkward! The first thing I think is damage control. What can I do to fix this? I can't be like "HA. Just kidding, I love them.." I could be like " Okay good. I was just testing you" or theres what I always do which is get really awkward and blush nervously and make indescernable sounds. The other day I was sitting with this girl I used to be friends with named Aretha and I am not friends with her anymore but she is still friends with my friend Rosaline. So, I try not to make it obvious that I don't like her but Rosaline knows I don't, I try to be subtle, what can I say. Anyways, so we went to a class in our freeblock to do work and we sat with lovely Aretha. I was sitting right across from my former friend and I couldn't handle the tension. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. So I randomly say "Hi Aretha..." She looks at me weirdly and says hi. I then felt like I should say something else, so I said "..Happy birthday.." knowing full well that her birthday was two weeks ago but not knowing what else to say. She tells me this and I was like oh and that was it. Awkward!

-Flora

Awkward Moment Thirty Five: Walking down the hallway and laughing to yourself

Could my life be just a teensy bit more awkward? I really don't think it's awkward enough! I hate those moments when you're walking or sitting by yourself and something is just so hilarious that you can't even control it so you start laughing maniacally and all of the sane and innocent bystanders think you are an absolute lunatic. Gosh, those poor people are all within the realm of crazy. There is no getting out! You have witnessed the awkward now you must experience it for yourself! Just kidding. You can keep your sanity. No one needs to be awkward, that's what we're here for.

Today, I was walking down the hallway, thinking dolefully about the awkward blog and how I would love to go post on it, when this strange thought popped into my head. I was thinking of "Alcohol Annonymous" meetings and how they all introduce themselves and explain their problems but in my head it was "Awkward Anonymous" and I was introducing myself saying "Hi, my name is Millie and I am an awkward kid." And in unison the room replies "Hello Millie." And for some reason it sent me into hysterics! It started out as a light giggle, but the more I thought about it the more I needed to laugh. I was biting the sides of my cheeks trying to hold it in, but I just couldn't do it. So I was full on grinning from ear to ear and shaking with silent laughter while strolling- no not strolling, practically running-down the hallway to get to my class. I wasn't even close to being late but I figured the sooner I got to my class where my friends would be sitting, the sooner I could resume my status as a normal person who is just casually chuckling amongst friends. I turn the corner, take a flying leap into the class only to see two empty chairs where my friends should have been. I was so prepared to start rolling around on the floor laughing, when they weren't even there! Bloody hell! I just need to get this laugh out, and I need to get it out NOW! People are starting to stare. AWKWARD!

-Millie