Awkward Moment Forty: Yoga

I love yoga so much and I do it lots. It makes me less awkward because it's my time by myself. I don't know why, I just feel independent going to yoga by myself. Still, there are so many awkward scenarios that go on during yoga. Like farting. I have a rule and it is called "don't fart in public" but the thing is, yoga squishes me into very weird positions and sometimes it's hard to not let it go when your head is resting on your left knee and your right leg is resting on your head and your touching your left foot with your right hand and.. you get it right? I mean, I am not made of silly putty and sometimes it escapes. But since everyone in the yoga studio is pretty close together you can't even hope that it would go by unnoticed. You can only hope that they don't acknowledge it and then you go into denial and pretend that that didn't just happen. Also, it's weird sticking my bum in people's faces or when people stick their bums in my face. I think that's pretty self explanatory. And camel toe which comes from wearing form fitting yoga pants and doing bridge which is when you basically lift your crotch to the sky. It's really uncomfortable when your instructor occasionally comes to adjust you and this happens and it's like why. Why. Or when they chant and I focus really hard on not laughing. It's not even that funny anymore because I am so used to it but it's just like when someone yells at you and you can't help but laugh. Just knowing you shouldn't laugh makes it impossible not to. I feel bad to and I want to be like I am sorry, I know better! I do! It's just dead quiet and then it's like..................OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM....... It's something I have basically gotten used to but there are days when I feel like hysterically laughing. So yoga is great and it's like exercise that doesn't make me want to cry. But be prepared for the awkward, and invest in a thong or seamless panties because you know what's more embarassing then sticking your tush in someone's face? Pantylines while you are sticking it in someone's face. Awkward!!
-Flora

Awkward Moment Thirty Nine: Farting

Poooooofttttt! If you're me, then you're extremely immature and find farting hilarious, embarrassing and awkward. I know it is just a natural bodily function but it's so funny! And it's even funnier/awkward when it's in front of a group of people. Usually when this happens people pretend they did not hear it, but there is always that one really obnoxious person who think it's funny to point it out and laugh. That's always super nice of them.

Everybody has a few good farting stories to tell. I know I sure do. One of them did not happen to me, but it was a dance teacher's group that had gone on stage for acro competition. For those of you who know acro, it involves a lot of lifts and backbends, cartwheels, that kind of thing. So this one girl was the smallest girl in the class and she got lifted for every lift in the dance. The music was super dramatic and there was one part of the song that went completely silent right as they were lifting the girl... when this happened she suddenly she let out a very loud fart. EVERY one heard. The entire audience! She was mortified! I know I would never be able to live that one down.

But then there are just those moments when you're hanging out with friends and you're laughing super hard and just can't help but let one (or 2 or 3) go. It's unfortunate, but it happens to the best of us! It really isn't so bad if you're with friends, but if you aren't then it is just plain awkward. It makes me think of a funny saying that my grandma used to say. It doesn't really translate from Finnish properly, but it basically means "farts are the joy of the poor". In other words, well it's pretty self-explanatory, but she would say that whenever someone, including herself, farted! To be honest with you, I think that would just make it even more AWKWARD!