Awkward Moment Thirty Nine: Farting

Poooooofttttt! If you're me, then you're extremely immature and find farting hilarious, embarrassing and awkward. I know it is just a natural bodily function but it's so funny! And it's even funnier/awkward when it's in front of a group of people. Usually when this happens people pretend they did not hear it, but there is always that one really obnoxious person who think it's funny to point it out and laugh. That's always super nice of them.

Everybody has a few good farting stories to tell. I know I sure do. One of them did not happen to me, but it was a dance teacher's group that had gone on stage for acro competition. For those of you who know acro, it involves a lot of lifts and backbends, cartwheels, that kind of thing. So this one girl was the smallest girl in the class and she got lifted for every lift in the dance. The music was super dramatic and there was one part of the song that went completely silent right as they were lifting the girl... when this happened she suddenly she let out a very loud fart. EVERY one heard. The entire audience! She was mortified! I know I would never be able to live that one down.

But then there are just those moments when you're hanging out with friends and you're laughing super hard and just can't help but let one (or 2 or 3) go. It's unfortunate, but it happens to the best of us! It really isn't so bad if you're with friends, but if you aren't then it is just plain awkward. It makes me think of a funny saying that my grandma used to say. It doesn't really translate from Finnish properly, but it basically means "farts are the joy of the poor". In other words, well it's pretty self-explanatory, but she would say that whenever someone, including herself, farted! To be honest with you, I think that would just make it even more AWKWARD!

Awkward Moment One: When you can't tell if someone is a guy, or a girl...

How awkward is it when you meet someone for the first time and cannot, for the life of you, figure out if it is a boy, or a girl!? It’s horrible. You spend the rest of your day creepily sneaking glances at it. It’s honestly all you can think about, until you figure out its gender.
     One summer, I went to the fair with my family. All was going well, until we met up with my friend. She had another friend with her. This particular friend had short hair, was wearing no makeup, had a ton of piercings, and was wearing baggy clothes. I would have thought it was a boy except for the fact is also looked like a girl. I was bamboozled! Was it a girl, or was a boy? I waited to hear its name. Dakota. Mmhhmm. So that didn’t help. I figured I really didn’t need to know its gender, so I ignored my curiosity. Then my friend suggested we go on the roller coaster, only problem was that her friend needed someone to ride with. So, of course, I said, “I‘ll ride with him.”
She was a girl, not a guy. AWKWARD!
-Georgie