Awkward Moment Forty Three: Accidentally Talking to Yourself

Hello, this is awkward. I hate those times when I accidentally talk to myself. I know you're probably thinking, how the heck does that happen? How does one "accidentally" talk to oneself? It is a lot easier than you would think. There are actually two ways for this to occur.

Scenario #1: I am walking down the street. Shoot, I have to cross the road now. I step out onto the pavement and a car almost doesn't stop. "Don't hit me!" I say. Shoot, I just said that out loud. I hope no one heard that. Or saw that. Too bad the whole world has stopped to let me cross the road so everyone did. Unless they are all coveniently and simultaneously blind/deaf.

Scenario #2: I am walking down the hallway with a friend blabbing on about some story (probably one of those ones that are hilarious to me and no one else). I turn my head to look at this "friend" and she's gone. Must have been some story I was telling. Where the heck did she go?! I stop and laugh to myself because I am just so cool and because I spent a yet to be determined amount of time talking to myself in loud and dulcet tones, for everyone to hear. Love it.

So you get the idea. It happens to the best of us but that doesn't make it any less AWKWARD!!!

-Millie

Awkward Moment Thirty Six:Talking to someone you dont like

We all love our friends. But sometimes our friends like things or people for reasons that we cannot understand. And that's absolutely fine! Just because I happen to think that girl in French is an irritating, bitchy suck up doesn't mean that she doesn't have a heart of gold. So if your friend is friends with someone you are not particularly fond of the best thing to do is be supportive and sensitive and, unless your friend's friend is a complete psycho, trust their judgement enough to know that there is probably something good about that person. But do you want to know what is unfortunate? When you don't know that your friend is friends with said biatch and you start babbling away about how much he or she annoys you and do they like her? And then they say "....Yeah, they are one of my best friends...." And you feel not only like a cow but also completely awkward! The first thing I think is damage control. What can I do to fix this? I can't be like "HA. Just kidding, I love them.." I could be like " Okay good. I was just testing you" or theres what I always do which is get really awkward and blush nervously and make indescernable sounds. The other day I was sitting with this girl I used to be friends with named Aretha and I am not friends with her anymore but she is still friends with my friend Rosaline. So, I try not to make it obvious that I don't like her but Rosaline knows I don't, I try to be subtle, what can I say. Anyways, so we went to a class in our freeblock to do work and we sat with lovely Aretha. I was sitting right across from my former friend and I couldn't handle the tension. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. So I randomly say "Hi Aretha..." She looks at me weirdly and says hi. I then felt like I should say something else, so I said "..Happy birthday.." knowing full well that her birthday was two weeks ago but not knowing what else to say. She tells me this and I was like oh and that was it. Awkward!

-Flora

Awkward Moment Twenty Nine: Seeing old friends.

Any normal person can act normal around an old friend that they haven’t talked to in a while. Me, I’m not normal. I suffer from social awkwardism. Symptoms include: flushing of the face, loss of words, embarrassment, paranoia, and last but not least, awkwardness. Let me tell you, it’s not a pleasant thing.

Anyways, I had an awkward experience at the bus the other day. I was standing at the bus stop waiting patiently as I always do every Monday. There were a bunch of kids from my school standing around me, everyone silent. It’s really awful because technically, I should have my drivers licence. But instead, I stand at the bus stop every Monday, and every Monday I watch kids from my classes stare at me, as they drive themselves home. So I’m waiting, and I see two girls walking towards the bus stop, one whom I used to be really close with and the other whom makes me very uncomfortable. This friend used to drive me to school every day for four years! And there I was standing at the bus stop. It was quite obvious that they were staring at me, but they were far enough away that I could pretend I didn’t see them. I already feel awkward at bus stops, so I know I must have looked so sketchy! I waited until they were just across the street from me until I finally looked. Yup. They were staring all right. Then my old friend started yelling at me from across the street. She’s yelling, cars are whipping past, and it’s loud. I had no idea what she was saying. Then I figured it out. She was asking why I was bussing. So I’m trying to act normal while trying to yell back ,“ I have no ride home on Mondays!” No one at the bus stop knew who I was talking too, and my friend couldn’t hear me. Awesome. I tried to yell louder but it wasn’t working. So she takes out her phone and signals to me that she would text me. Then, while trying to balance all my books, I had to rummage through my purse to find my phone-I might add that I hate me phone. It’s so ugly. The whole situation was just very awkward. I know it’s really not a big deal, but because of my social awkwardism, everything is a big deal. AWKWARD!

-Georgie

Awkward Moment Sixteen: Dreams About People You Don't Really Know

So, it's time to get up and get ready for school. You've been dragged out of bed against your will and wrenched out of whatever dream you were in the middle of. You wake up feeling weird and uncomfortable and you are wondering "why was I dreaming of making out with that random in Math class?" Or you wake up disgusted by your subconcious because you dreamt about someone you really despise. Or you dreamt about someone really hot and you enjoyed your dream and you wished that you didn't have to wake up right that second. Either way it doesn't really matter if you don't know the person that well or even at all. Because then you have to go to school and see them in your classes or in the hall and then you try not to look them in the eyes or look at them at all and then you feel like you are making it even more obvious. You feel like there is a huge tattoo on your forehead that says "I dreamt we made out "( and I am being PG, it can get more awkward). Whenever this happens to me I feel like I am being really obvious about it and I get all flustered and tongue tied and red and it's like I suddenly have a crush on them or something when I (usually) don't. And I can't explain my weird behavior. What would I say ? " Oh, I know I am acting like a freak show, I am really sorry because I didn't really think about you till now but apparently my subconcious wants to jump your bones." One time I dreamt I made out with this guy I was sort of friends with through a friend of mine. Anyway, I was pretty good friends with her at the time so one day I just told her about the dream and she thought it was hilarious so she marched me up to him and made me tell him my dream. Until he went back to Germany he would always jokingly wink at me and be like "You still dreaming about me?". Oh and here is the best part. My friend and him started going out like a week later. So awkward! I learned to keep stuff to my self. Actually that's a lie I have an overshare problem. But what other people should learn from this is to keep their awkward dreams about strangers to themselves. Because no one really needs to know every single thought that runs though your head. Awkward!
- Flora

Awkward Moment Four: Being in a class without any friends and acting like a fool

You know that moment when you are trapped in a sewing class against your will with no friends and you get your foot caught in a girl you don't know's yoga pants and you trip and then hop out and say sorry and act like it was funny and that you don't want to go die now? No? Last year I was in sewing and I basically had no friends in that class and so I was like okay I'll go sew and hope the class goes by quickly. On my way to my sewing machine my foot managed to get caught in the bottom of this girl's yoga pants. Like I had to full on hop away because my foot was caught. How that happens I have no idea. So I got all flustered, said sorry and smiled and laughed like I thought it was stinking hilarious and she was nice about it but still. Awkward! I mean being trapped in a class with no friends, trying to act like you are not a complete loser is bad enough. It happens to all of us and I feel like I usually do a pretty good job of dealing with these awkward little classes. I just tell myself I don't feel awkward and I pretend to be busy and I think sarcastic thoughts and ask to go to my locker/the bathroom a lot. I try not to stare in any one place to long in case I accidently space out and look somewhere awkward ie. someones crotch or boobs. It never fails, when you try to act "normal" or "cool" you always end up acting like a weirdo. Awkward city.
-Flora

Awkward Moment Three: When you wear an article of clothing straight from the dryer and a pair of underwear is balled up inside the sleeve.

You know what is extremely awkward? When you spend an entire day with a pair of underwear inside the sleeve of your sweatshirt. You were rushed that morning and quickly pulled out a sweater from the dryer, and obviously didn't think to check inside the sleeves in case some socks or underwear tumbled in there. Oh, what a mistake.

This happened to me a few weeks ago, and I FINALLY noticed during the last block of the day at school. I felt something lumpy in my sleeve and was just about to whip it out when I thought I'd better check what it was before revealing it to the whole world. So I'm sitting there, looking around sketchily, and trying to casually take a peek inside my sleeve. Oh, it wasn't just any pair of underwear. Nope, it was a bright purple stripy thong. Just awesome. I could feel myself getting flushed and embarrassed, despite the fact that nobody had any idea of the little dilemma I was experiencing. My thoughts were frantic, "What do I do now? How do I stealthily get this out of my sleeve?" Sure, there are probably tons of logical ways to solve this problem but I was thinking a bit irrationally at that point. I ended up sticking my arm inside my backpack and inching it slowly out of my sleeve, all while trying to carry on a conversation with a guy in my grade. Luckily he had no idea what was going on. Even more luckily he can not read minds, or else he would have been seeing a lot of potentially disastrous scenarios involving me putting my hand up to ask a question in class and my stripy purple underwear flying across the room and everyone pointing and laughing. People may be under the assumption that awkward situations must involve more than one person. Nope, not true. That was my own little awkward experience that was a secret to everyone except me. It left me feeling very awkward and sketchy and not too sure what to do with myself. AWKWARD!
-Millie