Awkward Moment Forty Three: Accidentally Talking to Yourself

Hello, this is awkward. I hate those times when I accidentally talk to myself. I know you're probably thinking, how the heck does that happen? How does one "accidentally" talk to oneself? It is a lot easier than you would think. There are actually two ways for this to occur.

Scenario #1: I am walking down the street. Shoot, I have to cross the road now. I step out onto the pavement and a car almost doesn't stop. "Don't hit me!" I say. Shoot, I just said that out loud. I hope no one heard that. Or saw that. Too bad the whole world has stopped to let me cross the road so everyone did. Unless they are all coveniently and simultaneously blind/deaf.

Scenario #2: I am walking down the hallway with a friend blabbing on about some story (probably one of those ones that are hilarious to me and no one else). I turn my head to look at this "friend" and she's gone. Must have been some story I was telling. Where the heck did she go?! I stop and laugh to myself because I am just so cool and because I spent a yet to be determined amount of time talking to myself in loud and dulcet tones, for everyone to hear. Love it.

So you get the idea. It happens to the best of us but that doesn't make it any less AWKWARD!!!

-Millie

Awkward Moment Fifteen: First Dates

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here is an especially awkward blog for you. The famous and not-so-fabulous first date. Everyone goes through this at some point. When someone asks you out there are generally 3 (always awkward!) responses and feelings. You either:

a) Really like the guy. This makes it awkward because you have to try your hardest to impress them and act as normal as possible so you don't scare them off and so you can hopefully score a second date. 

b) Really hate the guy. Really, you're only saying yes because you feel bad. Ahh, the sympathy date. Or..

c) Neither like or hate him and say yes because you want to give him a chance and you like the idea of him. And you think that maybe you can grow to like him. Also, you see no reason to not like him. This can definitely be awkward!

My last dating experience was the latter. I was quite convinced that if I just gave him a chance, then he must be right for me! I loved that he liked me, and was very flattered. But you can't make yourself like someone. So off we went on our date to the movies. The awkwardness starts in the line-up to pay for our tickets. He offers to pay, and I politely reply "Are you sure? " And he looks so uncertain that I end up paying. Then we get into the theatre. We look around for seats when I spot a teacher from school and her boyfriend. Just my luck. I avoid eye contact and march straight to the top of the theatre, as far away from my teacher as possible. We sit there munching on some popcorn and it's all okay until I notice his arm casually on the arm rest lying with his hand facing palm up. Hmm. It's almost as if he wants to hold my hand. I glance at it, ignore it, and continue to watch the movie. Of course I would pick a sappy romantic comedy. Which always means awkward sex scenes, just to add to the fun. Once the movie is over, we walk out into the brightly lit entrance. Here I notice my teacher and her boyfriend, once again. They're walking right in front of us and I get that awkward feeling like I am stalking them. I don't want to say hi because that would be the logical thing to do and me, being awkward, would never do that. Uh oh, now we're at the door, and she's holding it open for us, and I am looking everywhere but at her, and I am oh-so-aware of the bright lights shining on us like a spotlight, and my date beside me, and my teacher in front of me, and.. PHEW finally we're outside. I gasp for fresh air and try to release the tension that is building in my shoulders from all that awkward. We begin the walk to his car. Once again, he attempts to hold my hand by reaching out his hand towards me and saying "come on, my car's this way". Once again, I look at his desperately outstretched hand and ignore it. Once we're safely in his car and driving home, I look through the songs on his Ipod. I am an idiot. I choose Taylor Swift "Our Song", and while it's blasting I casually comment "hey, this song's rather appropriate!" He smiles, and then says "You should learn how to drive with one hand." 

"Why?"

"So you can have one hand free for the music.. and the dials.. and so I can hold your hand." He reaches for my hand and this time there is no avoiding it. We sit there in awkward silence. The car ride takes years. Finally, FINALLY, I am home. He walks me to the door, and not knowing how to say goodbye, I give him a quick hug. What a date. AWKWARD!!!!
-Millie

Awkward Moment Eleven: Standing by yourself in a public place and trying to look cool.

Here is how it all begins. You're standing with a group of friends waiting for your ride after school. Slowly, they all start to leave and before you know it you're left standing alone by the fence, staring at the ground, at your phone with its non-existent text messages, at the inside of your purse, anything to avoid the heavy air, thick with silence. I don't know what it is, but it seems like people to need to feel occupied at all times, especially when standing by yourself in a public place.

So there I was, all alone and trying to act casually nonchalant about being a complete loner. It was a swelteringly hot day in May and there were these annoying bees buzzing around. I wasn't too bothered until one began to repeatedly dive-bomb at my face. I tried to stealthily swat it away, probably giving bystanders the impression that I had a nervous twitch. But to no avail; it just wouldn't leave me alone. And then there it was, flying back towards my head, making that awful "ZZZZZZ" sound right in my ear. I began shaking my head with my eyes squeezed shut, hoping against hope that it wouldn't sting me. I was feeling very awkward and wasn't paying much attention to what I was doing. Suddenly I realized that my thoughts, which usually do a decent job of staying in my brain, had decided to slip into the back of my throat and out of my mouth. "It-it-it's a bee!" I stuttered, as if the rest of the world had no stinkin' clue what it was. I did a quick side-eyes to check if anyone around me was looking. That was when I noticed Mia and Georgie in the car parked by the curb in front of me. I took a few steps forward and smiled at the glass. I began to say something out loud (as if they could hear me), and was about to put my face up to the window when the car pulled away. I made an awkward laugh/choking noise and went back to the spot where I had been standing. AWKWARD!
-Millie